Oh, religious people are happier, that's a fact.
Ok, so what do I do, just, like, pick up the Bible and start reading it?
That'd be a start.
Yeah, but isn't there a bunch of crazy shit in there?
Like what?
Ali, I like girls.
What's that have to do with anything?
Well, doesn't it say that, like, gays should be put to death or something?
That was, like, 3,000 years ago.
What, so 3,000 years ago it was fine, like, to put gays to death?
Ok, look—you're talking about the Israelites. They were on the run, that was the main thing, alright? There wasn't time for any type of distractions.
So, being gay is a distraction?
If you're running from the Egyptian army, fuck yeah, it's a distraction. Ain't time for sex.
Yeah, but it specifically calls out gay sex.
They didn't want men fucking men, alright? They didn't say anything about women. But hold on, it kind of makes sense, though—because men had to focus back then, alright? The survival of the people was at stake.
Ok, so if two men were caught kissing, they just... [moves arm as a sword] killed them?
Oh, my God, what are you writing, a romance novel? It says men who lay with men. They're talking about butt sex. I don't know nothing about butt sex. But I do know that war ain't the time for butt sex. This was before the invention of soap, germ theory, antibiotics.